Have fun with Doctors

With doctors widely perceived as “very serious” people, and clnics as “high stress” zones, many might wonder if humour has any scope with either of them. A dash of innocuous fun could prove an antidote for this “polluted” state .Of the several flavours of jokes that go around in medical corridors, many deal with doctor–patient communication.  It is said that “A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment”. You must have heard about that fat obedient patient whom the doctor had instructed to run 8 kilometers a day for 3 months. After 90 days he calls the doctor on his cell phone to complain, “Sir, I have lost 15 Kg weight alright, but having followed your instructions, am now 700 km away from home.” I am sure you can identify this patient!

Sample this conversation between a surgeon and a patient in the clinic:

Doctor: Have you ever had a surgery before?

Patient: Yes

Doctor: For what?

Patient: For Rs 30,000/-

Doctor: I mean, what was your problem?

Patient: I had only Rs 20,000/-

Doctor (getting irritated): You don’t understand. What was your complaint?

Patient: The bill was too high.

If you are  laughing at the patient, hold on. His concerns and responses were as logical as his doctor’s, albeit in a different direction. 

Here are a few more “chhota ones”.on doctors’ fees.

·         “I got the bill for my surgery.  Now I know why those doctors were wearing masks”. 

·         A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office.  . 

·         I wonder why we can always read a doctor's bill but can never read his prescription. 

A doctor is no God, and it is well worth reminding ourselves of our limitations and those of our medicines.

An interesting short history of modern medicine goes like this:

2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 A.D. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root."

And this is what others observe of our medicines:

·         When a lot of remedies are suggested  for a disease, which means it cannot be cured.  ~Anton Chekhov, The Cherry Orchard.

Let us hear what patients think of grumpy doctors, “It is a good thing for a physician to have prematurely grey hair and itching piles.  The first makes him appear to know more than he does, and the second gives him an expression of concern which the patient interprets as being on his behalf.  ~A. Benson Cannon. And a humbling quote that both patients and doctors should remember is from an Arabic proverb “When FATE arrives the physician becomes a fool”. We are no more, no less!.

 As published in HT City (Hindustan Times) dated 13 February, 2011.